Happy Birthday Scotty

20 years ago today I finished one of the longest days of my life with the birth of our first son. My labor with Scott should have been a pretty big clue to what our life is like with him. No, not extended hours of excruciating pain, just an easy going guy who will come when he feels like it. I was in the hospital for about 23 hours before he was born...but to my credit, it was a natural delivery. Apparently this is the way all great Ninjas are born. We were all so excited to welcome Scott into our family!
What do I love most about Scott? That's easy, I can see all that is good in the world through his eyes. Scott finds joy in just about anything. I find joy in Scott. I can always depend on Scott to hurl his 6 foot 4ish body across the room at me in one of his patented "ninja" attacks. While it might not seem all that joyful, the "fish flop", "python squeeze", and "flying squirrel" are magical.
He has beaned me with more flying stuff in his life than I can ever catalog. Just tonight he opened the fridge and one of my carefully stacked (booby trapped) tomatoes fell out on the floor. Did he pick it up and put it back? No, he beaned me on the cheek with it...but then he kissed it better so I laughed. He likes to throw stuff, and burn stuff. Both tendencies have caused me a little grief. I don't think strangers having rocks thrown at them find it humorous at all. Oh, and the time he almost lit our carport on fire, again, not so charming. I have never been able to stay mad at Scott. Now at 20, he hardly ever throws rocks, and has for the most part learned to contain his inner pyromaniac.
I love that anytime Scott picks up a camera, any camera, he takes a bunch of funny pictures of himself. Scott is a very talented photographer, the self-portraits aren't necessarily his best work, but they are funny. I think one of the reasons he is a good photographer is because he is able to capture his view of the world through his camera (you used to be able to say "on film" but those days are over).
So Scott, Happy Birthday, Happy every day, and thanks for sharing your ninjaness with us. Keep up the good work! Love ya, Mommy

mmmm german food

my mom used to make these yummy hooeys when she entertained. i have searched through her recipes and could never find a recipe for anything that looked or sounded like them. long story short (too late, i know) i was surfing in the tub this morning (heh heh, i made a funny) and found a recipe that looks just like them. the recipe is rouladen, she got the recipe when we were stationed in germany. i am making them for book group next wednesday and i can't wait to taste them again!!! hope i didn't spell anything wrong and sorry for the lack of caps, i'm on the ds and lazy! and no, i am not in the tub at eleven in the morning... not doing my dishes either.

Fun Pics

I can ride my bike with no handle bars

ok, I am not writing about riding a bike, but i can write my blog with no computer...no computer...
it may not seem all that exciting but i'm happy. i bought a browser program for my ds a seriously long time ago but was too techno-illiterate to use it. when i finally picked it up to try again someone (i think Brian) had put a password on it that no one could crack. After much effort on my part I reset it, and with some help from Neil, here I am!!!
It has a few limitations, but I really like it. Now I can combine two of my favorite activities...soaking in the tub and blogging. one downside is no spell check so if you don't already think I'm dumb for taking my Ds in the tub, my bad spelling should prove it!

37 obscure factoids

. Do you like blue cheese? Not all by itself, ick. But all dressed up, you bet!

2. Have you ever smoked? No. I've been on fire, but ...

3. Do you own a gun? Not personally. Brian is a big gun fan, I don't like them though. Everything else that he owns is mine too, except the guns

4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite? I know it's un-American, but I don't like kool-aid. If forced, I like lemonade or raspberry.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not really. I don't like going to the gyno, but it doesn't make me nervous.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like a tasty sausage dog.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Family man

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I don't drink in the morning, I thought that was a bad thing

9. Can you do push ups? I just tried, and yes, I can do girl push ups. Since I'm a girl, that counts.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Hmmm, I lose diamonds, so I have mixed feelings about my wedding ring. I inherited my mom's opal ring and I like that but it is too big to wear. I have a plethora of cheap bracelets that I like but they are too cheesy to be my "favorite". I would have to go with the ankle bracelet Becka brought me from Mexico, or the pretty silver hoops Liz gave me.

11. Favorite hobby? Scrapbooking.

12. Do you have ADD? Probably, I keep forgetting to pay attention. ADD or senility, take your choice

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? I used to think my bifocals were something optional I could put on to make it easier to read. They aren't optional anymore. I just plain can't see without them.

14. Middle name? No, Ann is not my middle name. I didn't know how to spell my name until I graduated from High School and they misspelled my name on my diploma. My Dad noticed it and pointed it out to me. Who knew? My name is MaryAnn, not Mary Ann

15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment. I hope my children don't have to plan my funeral any time soon (I went to a friend's funeral yesterday), I can't wait to try this new craft project I saw online today, I need to get my house clean.

16. Name three drinks you regularly drink. Diet Coke, Diet Coke, water. In that order.

17. Current worry? It's always the same, too much to do...too little time.

18. Current hate right now? I decided to change this one, because my last answer indicated that I hate people, which I don't. I hate things like trying to go to sleep at night, constantly worrying about how big my butt is getting, my newly acquired grandma tummy, forgetting to do stuff, not wanting to do the stuff I remember to do...

19. Favorite place to be? Anywhere my family is, so mostly home.

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Family and junk food. No sparkling cider out my nose, that's a good start

21. Where would you like to go? Australia. I wanted to go there ever since I saw "the thorn birds", but even more so since I read "in a sunburned country" by Bill Bryson

22. Name three people who will complete this. I hope some of my kids, it's kinda fun to read

23. Do you own slippers? at least one of 3 different sets. I don't know why I always lose 1 slipper, but I do. Since I have 2 feet, slippers are kind of useless to me.

24. What shirt are you wearing? My hot pink tunic

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Never have, I am spoiled though, I love high thread count sheets. I never should have touched any, and I wouldn't know the difference, but I do, so sheets are a serious investment for me.

26. Can you whistle? Nope, not even a little...can't snap my fingers either.

27. Favorite color? Chartreuse

28. Would you be a pirate? I think I would make a very bad pirate, I'm too spineless

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I take long soaking baths, no singing involved

30. Favorite girl’s name? Can't say, I like my daughter's names, and my granddaughter Aaliyah, I think that is very pretty

31. Favorite boy’s name? We had a really hard time choosing boy's names. Brian poo-pooed all my boy names, but again, I like what we chose for my boys.

32. What’s in your pocket right now? My Phone. My mom always had tissues in her pocket, I think that is nasty gross.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? These hilarious youtube clips of a male gymnast dressed up like a girl and doing these "spot on" girls routines.

34. What vehicle do you drive? Nice roomy family car (not), my red jetta

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I fell off the monkey bars when I was 8, broke my arm in 4 places and dislocated it in 3. It was a compound fracture so I still have the scar from the plate and 4 pins they used to put me back together.

36. Do you love where you live? Often wish I had my own bathroom, and a garage...and a family room, but we love the ward and the neighborhood, so I can live with the flaws...oh, and we can afford it, that helps.

37. How many televisions do you have in your house? More than we have kids at home (scary huh?) Living room, Kitchen, Bedroom, sewing room, scott's room, ryan's room. I am an entertainment junkie, I guess it shows.

Pass/Fail

I thought it might be a simple way to earn a few extra dollars (very few) to work concessions at the county fair. Things get a little tight when I don't get a paycheck for 3 months. I went down to Farmington to take the food handlers permit test and a drug test...guess which one I failed. Here's a clue: I am more than qualified to handle your food :)
I passed the food handlers test with ease. I can also pee on command which is more than I can say for either of my sons. I knew that the prescription pain meds I had taken for my foot surgery could be a problem, I just didn't know what a pain it would be to get it all cleared up. I had to talk to this Dr. and give him all the prescription information off of all the drugs I take, then he had to call the pharmacy and verify the information I gave him. It was such a pain, and I didn't get to start working until Thursday.
Working the fair wasn't bad though. I might still smell a little like hot dogs, you'll have to ask someone around me. I spent the 3 days I worked there at the pizza trailer. Almost everyone who came to the trailer was disappointed that all we had was pizza. We did get the vegetarian crowd because we offered cheese pizza. The scone/navajo taco trailer and the hamburger/french fry/corn dog trailer did much better than us. Then every evening I got sent down to the arena to work in what I call the "shack of disappointment". If people were disappointed at the pizza offering, you can only imagine how disappointed they were that we only offered hot dogs. You could buy bottled soda or a hot dog. No, you can't buy beer here. No, we don't have nachos. No, we don't have candy. Yes, a hot dog is considered a snack, and yes, that is all we have.
I didn't get to use any of my fantastical food handler skills jerking sodas in the trailer, or tonging hot dogs in the shack. Strike that, I did know that I needed to wash my hands twice after going to the bathroom (or smoking should I take that up), and that hand sanitizer and gloves cannot replace a hand washing. You should all feel that the world is a safer place now that I can properly handle food. And to those of you who had to eat food I prepared before I got my permit, just think of all the fun names food poisoning has: Campylobacter, Salmonella, Shigella, E. coli O157:H7, Listeria, and botulism. Whee

26 years-the Spandex anniversary

Yesterday Brian and I celebrated our 26th anniversary! Wild huh?!? Last year was our silver anniversary, 24 more years will be our gold. I googled it, to see what 26 is. Anniversaries from paper, cotton and leather, to Bismuth, china and furniture, but the list goes from yearly to every 5 years once you hit 25. I am left kicking myself that I got no furniture for our 24th anniversary--how did I manage to miss that one. And Bismuth! I own no Bismuth (at least I think I don't, since I don't exactly know what Bismuth is, I can't say for sure). I bought a new swimsuit while we were shopping yesterday, so perhaps 26th is swimwear. Better yet Spandex! 26 is Spandex--genius. After 26 years, it would take a mega amount of spandex to fit me into the itty bitty size 0 I used to be, so there you go, the Spandex anniversary.
We tend to do dinner and a movie to celebrate and this year wasn't much different. We did spend the afternoon together, first a movie then some shopping, then dinner. I didn't want to see a kid's movie for a multitude of reasons, guilt being one. I always feel guilty watching a movie the kids would enjoy without them, a few years ago we saw "Sky High" for our anniversary, and it was odd to be there without kiddies. Another reason is that I really don't like anything animated (including said kiddies on a sugar high). We finally settled on the new X files movie. It was odd but good. Dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant, Imperial Dragon, yum.
Reflections on the past 26 years:
1. I can't believe we have been married that long, according to my calculations I was only 4 when I got married!
2. Brian looks the same (fantastic), and if possible has the same amount of energy he had 26 years ago...maybe more.
3. Definitely worth any amount of struggle and work we have put into our relationship.
4. I wouldn't change a thing. The road hasn't always been smooth and I'm sure there are bumps to come, but the journey has been a great learning and growing experience. The longer we travel together, the easier it is for me to see the destination.
5. I have a fantastic husband and great children and grandchildren. Life is good.
6. As soon as I find out what Bismuth is, I am getting me some.

Lightening in Felicity

I need to take a moment to eulogize Lightening. I had to take our family dog in and put to sleep (a euphemism we only find appropriate to use on animals) a couple of weeks ago. I had vowed many years ago after I sent Riker off to live on a puppy farm (another euphemism) that I didn't ever need another dog. Joslyn called me not too long after that to ask me if I was interested in taking in a dog. She described lightening, assured me that his worst habit was eating tissues out of the garbage can, and told me he was a very good dog. I decided to surprise the family by giving them a dog for Christmas, that was in 2000.
To Joslyn's credit, Lightening was a very good dog, he never used our house as his own personal toilet, never barked in the house, and was very...very good with children. He never could pass up a tasty morsel from the garbage can though, and I often caught him with his nose deep in the trash. He did have a nasty habit of barking at the fence, but anyone who actually knew lightening, knew he was quite literally all bark and no bite. If a potential burglar tried riding up to our house on a skateboard or bike, he might be in trouble...no not really, because as soon as they entered the gate he would lay on his stomach and wait for a belly scratch.
Lightening couldn't quite live up to his name, if I had named him I would have gone with lump, or wimp, maybe kleenex. He was meek always. He was also a lump, 50 lbs of lap dog. He loved a good spot in the sun.
A couple years ago lightening got a large rubbery feeling tumor on his face. We had that removed and were told it was just a fat tumor. A little after that he got a pretty big tumor on his hip, and from our previous experience I wasn't so worried about it. When we had that tumor removed, it was cancerous. It seemed pretty encapsulated so I again wasn't so worried. Then in the spring of this year, the tumor came back with a vengence. It was HUGE. It grew very fast, so when I took him in to the vet it was already the size of a large orange. The Vet told us it was too big to remove and that we should just take him home and enjoy what time he had left and bring him back when he got sick.
Because I am dead inside, I have used the threat "be good or I'll kill your dog", to keep the family in line for the last few months. I'll have to find something new though. I honestly didn't want to wait for lightening to get seriously ill, what would be the point. I waited until the tumor was about the size of a cantaloupe and decided he had lugged that thing around enough. We had contemplated his death for a long time, so although we missed him, I think everyone was ready for it when I took him in.
LM sent me some scripture and gospel literature texts to let me know where lightening has gone. So now we all know, Lightening and all the other "beasts" get to go live in Felicity. My only worry now is that I might have to spend eternity with ALL the pets I have sent into the afterlife. I'd rather go to hell than spend eternity with Yoda, Sniffles (and all her kittens), I don't even know how many birds (and I don't like birds), 20-30 gerbils, Roxy, and Riker. Lets hope Felicity is like a big heavenly pet store and you can go in and pick the pets you want and leave the rest for a soul more compassionate than me.
So there is Lightening's eulogy, to put it in a nutshell, he was a wonder among dogs, a dog whose good habits outweighed his bad. I do miss him, he was probably the only being in our house who understood my true invertibrate nature. I didn't even have the heart to push him off the bed when I would wake up in the night and find that he had taken my half of the bed for himself. He was spineless like me and we understood each other. Although I couldn't bring myself to enjoy a good trash can snack with him, I know he would have sat and enjoyed a steak dinner with me. If you find me out barking at the fence, It's just cause I miss him, and I would be quicker to do that than have a toilet big gulp.
Enjoy felicity lightening, you deserve it.

whee

Last month went by so fast, I kept wanting to blog but couldn't find the time. Then I had foot surgery or brain surgery...hard to tell. I thought I would blog a bit while I was laid up, but it's a little hard to blog if you forgot all your account settings. LM tried her very hardest to keep my organized when she set this up, she provided me with a small book to keep track of my sign-in information. Because I am hardcore unorganized, I managed to lose the book. I am an identity thief's dream, I know I can't remember stuff, so I always use the same basic login info. I may vary a little, but I can usually figure it out, but not this time. But Whee, I'm back! Google accepts that there are plenty of people like me around and makes it pretty easy to rediscover your identity.
We went on vacation last month and it was tons of fun! All of us went to Bear lake, and although it took a convoy of 4 vehicles to get us all there, it was great. We ate good, and I (thanks to my good friend Ambien) slept well. I think most of my kids still have a vivid memory of our 5 day trip to Yellowstone. I didn't sleep a wink all 4 nights we were there, so on day 5 when we were on our way home, needless to say I was a little scary. I remember Brian telling the kids to be quiet and not talk to me at all, I was pretty beastly. No repeats here though, I slept great.
I think it will be years, or perhaps eternity before I quit teasing Scott about his ability to "tan". Maybe I will about the time I quit teasing him about popping "corn" (I'll save that for another blog). We were all slathering ourselves in sunbloc as Scott and his pasty white skin headed for the beach. I called out that he needed to put sunbloc on, but he just looked back and told me he didn't need it because his skin would tan..heh heh. First time out he fried himself good. Burgundy isn't quite the color he turned, but it's close. He later blistered and peeled, not usually seen in people who tan, but I could be wrong. Because he was sitting in a kayak at the time, his legs had fantastic shades of white meat and dark meat. A cannibal's delight.
What I love about my family is that it doesn't really matter where we go, it only matters that we go together. We can have fun anywhere. Because of gas prices we chose to stay a little closer to home, but it doesn't feel like we settled for anything less than the perfect place. Because Lizzy is an organizing genius I don't think we forgot anything. We had a lovely set up, and probably because she is charming, we didn't have to move our tents off the beach we set them up on.
There is so much more stuff I should write about, but I'll stop for now because I am reasonably sure I can login again and blog another time...and just because I am a slacker, no LM, I didn't write down my new login information...remember, I lost the cute little book to write it in.