Lightening in Felicity

I need to take a moment to eulogize Lightening. I had to take our family dog in and put to sleep (a euphemism we only find appropriate to use on animals) a couple of weeks ago. I had vowed many years ago after I sent Riker off to live on a puppy farm (another euphemism) that I didn't ever need another dog. Joslyn called me not too long after that to ask me if I was interested in taking in a dog. She described lightening, assured me that his worst habit was eating tissues out of the garbage can, and told me he was a very good dog. I decided to surprise the family by giving them a dog for Christmas, that was in 2000.
To Joslyn's credit, Lightening was a very good dog, he never used our house as his own personal toilet, never barked in the house, and was very...very good with children. He never could pass up a tasty morsel from the garbage can though, and I often caught him with his nose deep in the trash. He did have a nasty habit of barking at the fence, but anyone who actually knew lightening, knew he was quite literally all bark and no bite. If a potential burglar tried riding up to our house on a skateboard or bike, he might be in trouble...no not really, because as soon as they entered the gate he would lay on his stomach and wait for a belly scratch.
Lightening couldn't quite live up to his name, if I had named him I would have gone with lump, or wimp, maybe kleenex. He was meek always. He was also a lump, 50 lbs of lap dog. He loved a good spot in the sun.
A couple years ago lightening got a large rubbery feeling tumor on his face. We had that removed and were told it was just a fat tumor. A little after that he got a pretty big tumor on his hip, and from our previous experience I wasn't so worried about it. When we had that tumor removed, it was cancerous. It seemed pretty encapsulated so I again wasn't so worried. Then in the spring of this year, the tumor came back with a vengence. It was HUGE. It grew very fast, so when I took him in to the vet it was already the size of a large orange. The Vet told us it was too big to remove and that we should just take him home and enjoy what time he had left and bring him back when he got sick.
Because I am dead inside, I have used the threat "be good or I'll kill your dog", to keep the family in line for the last few months. I'll have to find something new though. I honestly didn't want to wait for lightening to get seriously ill, what would be the point. I waited until the tumor was about the size of a cantaloupe and decided he had lugged that thing around enough. We had contemplated his death for a long time, so although we missed him, I think everyone was ready for it when I took him in.
LM sent me some scripture and gospel literature texts to let me know where lightening has gone. So now we all know, Lightening and all the other "beasts" get to go live in Felicity. My only worry now is that I might have to spend eternity with ALL the pets I have sent into the afterlife. I'd rather go to hell than spend eternity with Yoda, Sniffles (and all her kittens), I don't even know how many birds (and I don't like birds), 20-30 gerbils, Roxy, and Riker. Lets hope Felicity is like a big heavenly pet store and you can go in and pick the pets you want and leave the rest for a soul more compassionate than me.
So there is Lightening's eulogy, to put it in a nutshell, he was a wonder among dogs, a dog whose good habits outweighed his bad. I do miss him, he was probably the only being in our house who understood my true invertibrate nature. I didn't even have the heart to push him off the bed when I would wake up in the night and find that he had taken my half of the bed for himself. He was spineless like me and we understood each other. Although I couldn't bring myself to enjoy a good trash can snack with him, I know he would have sat and enjoyed a steak dinner with me. If you find me out barking at the fence, It's just cause I miss him, and I would be quicker to do that than have a toilet big gulp.
Enjoy felicity lightening, you deserve it.