try this!

Not much is blog worthy in my life these days. I would like to share one of my favorite recipes though. It tastes just like english toffee, but it only takes moments to make. Yummmmmmmmm Don't question it, just do it. I know it sounds funny, but it's the best stuff ever!

Cracker Toffee:
Line a greased cookie sheet with saltine crackers
Melt 1 cup (2 sticks) butter in a sauce pan. Add 1 cup of Brown sugar and bring it to a boil. Boil for 3 minutes. Pour the sauce over the crackers and spread it evenly. Bake at 400 degrees for 4 minutes. While it is still hot, sprinkle 2 cups chocolate chips over the top. Spread melted chocolate with a spatula. Cool in fridge, freezer, or my favorite...outside, until the chocolate has set. Break into pieces.

I can seriously eat the whole cookie sheet of tasty deliciousness myself, it is that good.

If that isn't weird enough for you, try our other family favorite, equally as easy, with a delightful name too:

Elk Turds
In a saucepan, bring 1 1/2 cups corn syrup, 1 cup sugar, and 1 1/2 cups peanut butter to a boil.
Put 12 cups of cocoa puffs in a large (duh) bowl. Pour heated sauce over the cocoa puffs and stir well. After mixture has cooled slightly, stir in 4 cups mini marshmallows. We eat them right out of the bowl, but you can press them into a 9x13 pan if you want...it takes a little of the "turd" look away to do it this way.

It was recently pointed out to me that elk turds aren't really round like this, and maybe I should change the name to like "mule deer turds", haven't really done the scat research to pick the right name, so for now, elk turds it is. enjoy!

Happy Birthday Sunshine

25 years! Wow! I was like...4 when I had you. A medical miracle to be sure. Miracle or not, it was a great day. You have been our ray of sunshine every day since you were born. I am so proud of you and everything you do. I have no doubt that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
I would apologize for all the mistakes we made raising you, but most of those mistakes worked to your benefit, so I figure we should call it even. You did lead the way for all the sibs to follow, and you are a great example to them. Thanks to you, the curfew was introduced into our home. Thanks to you, everyone has to buy their own car (and name it). Most of all, thanks to you for showing all the sibs the value of a good education.
Enjoy your day, and your wedding cake. For you, turning 25 means you can have your wedding cake without the bother of having a groom. Just for you, I am learning how to make tofurkey. It sounds pretty dang gross but we'll give it a try. Not for your birthday dinner though, I don't want to risk violating a perfectly good meal of homemade mac and cheese.

Maximus

So I probably shouldn't sit and blog about our new dog when I am still panting and out of breath from chasing him down the street. He should be named lightening, he can really book it. Max (short for Maximus) ran out of the gate as I was coming out to go to Liz's. I have gone out this same gate everyday for as long as we have had him and I thought he knew to stay. I guess my not yelling "STAY" gave him free reign to run out with me. We named him Maximus because it sounds so good when you yell it at him, but I was unamused with his melodic name as I hollered it while he ran. The glorious end to this story is that he ran back towards me finally, but when he saw how mad I was at him he dropped to the ground and rolled on his back. No amount of tugging and pulling would get him back on his feet. Seriously, he wouldn't budge. Liz came out and tried to help, I thought for a minute we were going to have to pick him up by his legs and carry him across the street. He did finally right himself but aargh! How do I get myself into these fixes? I really don't need a dog. He does have beautiful eyes, but I really don't need a dog. He is house trained, and doesn't bark much, but I really don't need a dog. Why would anyone call a dog man's best friend. I don't know about you, but my best friend doesn't run away from me at full speed while I am screaming out her name. My best friend has never...ever...licked me. My best friend can be left alone in my house without freaking out, and can be left alone in the yard without digging holes. I don't need a dog, and I have enough best friends.

top five

Thanks for the inspiration Becka, here's my top 5 lists...again, subject to change. I forget stuff after awhile, but this is what I've come up with:

Top 5 books (non-fiction)
1. Shipwreck at the bottom of the World
2. A short history of nearly everything
3. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
4. Napoleon's Buttons
5. The Price we paid

That was probably the hardest list to narrow down, because as we have established, I am a big ol' dork. Runners up include "The Innocent Man", "Lies my teacher told me", and cause I'm not done with it yet, so can't weigh in completely "collapse"

Top 5 books (fiction, series)
1. Sue Grafton's Kinsey Millhone Mysteries
2. Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum Mysteries
3. Kathy Reich's Temperence Brennen Novels
4. Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta Novels
5. Lemony Snicket's a Series of unfortunate events

Top 5 books (fiction)
1. Coming Home by Rosamond Pilcher
2. The secret history by Donna Tartt
3. The Host (NOT the twilight series) by Stephanie Myer
4. Thorn Birds By Colleen McCullough
5. Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchy

Top 5 Movies
1. Inner Space
2. Elf
3. Bedazzled
4. Sleepless in Seattle
5. Cheaper by the Dozen

Top 5 TV shows
1. ER
2. House
3. St. Elsewhere
4. M*A*S*H
5. Amazing race

Tough call, I love to watch TV. Runners up include Grey's Anatomy, Survivor, Scrubs

Top 5 late night snacks
1. Croutons
2. Squeezy cheese and crackers
3. Microwave popcorn
4. Onion rings (if Ryan goes and gets them) if not, I've discovered you can eat French fried onions right out of the bag
5. cool whip

Top 5 kids
Oh wait, I have six kids, better not do that

Top 5 favorite shoes
1. New clogs
2. Brown round toe pumps
3. Brown buckle pumps
4. Frayed slides
5. Etnies

Don't ask me why I have 50 pairs of shoes and stick to basically 5

Top 5 Actors
1. Dennis Quaid
2. Mark Harmon
3. Hugh Jackman
4. Matthew McConaughey
5. Josh Duhamel

Top 5 places I want to go
1. Australia
2. New Zealand
3. Antarctica (just cruise by)
4. Alaska
5. Ireland

Think face

I had to use my think face a lot today. I am glad to report that with enough effort I can recall what I learned in college and help Scott. I am useless when it comes to logs and he knows it, so he didn't ask for any help with the last unit. Now he is on to solving systems of equations...which is fun in a sick sort of way. It always brings a little zing of happiness when I can help him with a problem and get the answer right! I tutor basic math at work every day, but it's fun to work on stuff that is a little more challenging. There you have it...I am a certified dork.

Hope

Yes We Can!

What a glorious day this is! We have come from a racially divided country, to electing a black man as president. I cried. I know I'm old, but many of the changes we have made have come during my lifetime. I cried. I have so much hope for the future of this great nation. I feel like we can come together to solve some of the issues I feel threaten our future. I have hope, great hope. We can work to help those in our country who are least capable of helping themselves. We can work to make a cleaner healthier environment for our children and grandchildren. We can embrace diversity. I cried last night and I am crying now. Tears of joy, because I have hope.

4:4:4 Tag

I've been tagged by April

Here's how it works:

1. Go to your pictures.
2. Upload 4th picture from 4th folder.
3. Post.
4. Tag 4 friends.

I was happy to find this picture of Courtney and Alex in my 4th picture in my 4th folder. Brian was trying out his new kayak in the pool, I asked him to put the little girls in it and have them act like they were kayaking white water...silly but fun!


Becka, Liz, Scott, LM Tag, you're it!

This is mean

Somewhere in whatever Brian does for a living, he came across my picture from my driver's license...and emailed it to me. It is bad enough in a little 1 inch square, seeing it full size is horrifying. Might as well be a mug shot, it's just missing the height measurements behind me. What do we do with horrific things? We share them! So here it is:

Apparently I work for Satan

I've been lucky just to have time to check my email lately, let alone blog. Some good busy, some boring busy, some bad busy, but busy. I was given an acronym for busy the other night at saturday stake conference: Bondage Under Satan's Yoke. That just made me feel bad. I had hoped that when the speaker told us her topic was simplifying our lives, that I would get some badly needed help. Knowing I am under Satan's bondage wasn't exactly the help I needed. I know I need to simplify, but much of what I do is to help others and fulfill my church calling. I don't think that is wrong. I know I complain to an excess in my blogs about being busy, and I had vowed not to blog again until I could refrain from said complaining. So just to clarify, I am not complaining about being busy, I am complaining about feeling evil (heh heh).
Here's the story, a whole chapel full of people can hear the same talks and come away with a different lesson learned. After the "simplify your life" sister spoke, the next speaker talked about how we need to have a clean house. I don't know about you, but in my life these two subjects are diametrically opposed. Worrying about my house, cleaning my house, worrying that my clean house is going to get dirty again, it's all just a vicious cycle. Feeling that my house can't be a place where you can feel the spirit because it isn't clean is also not a good feeling. Adding the additional stress that simplifying my life and cleaning my house are tied to my ability to feel the spirit was making me feel crappy.
There were aspects of both of these speaker's talks that were valuable to me, and I was probably picking out the wrong things to focus on...totally my bad, but I think I have established that I have a bad attitude. It is a good thing that President Mitchell spoke last, and I felt much better. His message was very optimistic, he talked about a lot of things, his overall message to me was that it is never too late. I can start today to improve on the things in my life that aren't in order. I am constantly worrying about money, family, housework, job, the list goes on and on. I have decided that one thing I am really going to work on simplifying is the amount of energy I put into worrying.
I really enjoyed all of Sundays session. I came away feeling very lame (and that is a good thing). I also enjoyed Sister Joyce's talk about 3 great gifts. I want to concentrate more on my value as a daughter of God, and the gift of the Book of Mormon. Fantastic speakers, it was great.
I have been blessed with so much and I spend too much time concentrating on all the negative stuff. I worry about money, so Heavenly Father blesses me with more customers to help me earn more money, then I complain about being too busy. This is just naughty of me. I am working on having a better attitude. I can't say that I am never going to blipe (my own new word, means blog and gripe), but I am going to try to look at all the good stuff more often.
I did have a lot of good stuff happen in the last 3 weeks that I haven't blogged. We went to the pumpkin patch, the zoo, body worlds, a fun halloween party, carving pumpkins, Halloweening, just fun stuff. I am looking forward to the upcoming holiday season. I have gotten a couple of great gift ideas in the last couple of weeks. I have to work the election tomorrow, and I have a busy week after that, but I will blog again, and I will be happy :) Oh, and I am giving Satan my 2 week's notice, I quit.

The Dangers of Bread

I stumbled across this on Snopes, while looking up yet another erroneous email sent to me by a friend. The one that was sent to me attributed a speech about women over 40 to Andy Rooney. As I read it, the phrase "why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free" was included. I thought this a little crude for Andy and I was so right. I love a good silly email, I can even appreciate a nice inspirational email (although I will never forward it to 10 people so that something nice will happen to me this afternoon), but I wish people would check (snopes is fantastic) before sending me useless stuff. They whole "magic eraser" warning was just silly, as was the "hands of God". So read this and remember, Bread is dangerous!
!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

Sneeches

I don't want to rant. It appears I've done enough of that for a while. Life has offered me a slight reprieve today and I am more than grateful. Liz, Audrey and I had a great time this morning at the Memories warehouse sale (I fear it may have been an "I hate lm" day", but we would have taken you if you didn't have to work). It was fantastical! I haven't done much since getting home, but Brian is going golfing tonight so I have a little more time to get stuff done. I am eager to get downstairs and fondle all my new scrapbook stuff.
I just wanted to make a quick comment about diversity and the unique and admirable qualities my children have. As a whole, we have no stars on our bellies, but get by just fine :)

Here's a quick list:
Becka, you never fail to make me smile. Your slightly snarky outlook on life entertains. I love that you dance when you are happy. I love that you cry...often. I wish you were never sad, that being said, you wear your emotions on your face, happy, sad, tired, you embrace your emotions. I am glad you have such a great desire to learn. I love your factoids, words of the day, books and articles you give me to read.
Lizzy, I love that you consider me a good friend. You care so much about everyone around you. You are the peanut butter in our family sandwich, you hold us all together. If you had a star on your belly it would be covered in bling, but you don't need a star, you are sparkly all by yourself. You are a great mother, a wonderful daughter, and a good friend.
Scott, stop eating all my hidden food, I know it is you. I love seeing you grow up. Not just getting taller, getting more grown upish. You are silly and carefree. I love that we can have glorious "deep" conversations, or just laugh and be ninjas. You did get a tribute blog all to yourself, but I have lots of nice things to say about you. I am especially glad that you have found your happy place again.
Ryan, you will probably never read this, as you don't consider blogging a worthwhile pastime, but I'm going to go ahead and say nice things to you anyway. You have really made an effort to be less shy and I admire that. Your sign dancing job is hilarious. Your little OCD tendencies also make me laugh. One of your unique qualities is that you manage to look either deep in thought or extremely stressed out when you sleep. The rest of the world looks relaxed when they sleep, but not you, you look very intense.
Alex, you are just a silly goose. You have self esteem at your age, which from my recollection is pretty close to impossible. You have managed to realize that having a star on your belly is not the most important thing in the world, as a matter of fact it doesn't even make your list. You embrace the family dorkiness with a zest. Look up "panache", because you have lots. I love that you want to be as tall as me. I guess that just goes along with your confidence and self esteem.
Courtney...what to say...what to say...even though you are the caboose, you act as though you are the little engine that could. You are always driving me to be a better person, a better mom, and more organized. You keep our whole family train on the tracks. You take many of the great qualities of your older sibs and magnify them in yourself. You are caring and compassionate, super genius, a deep thinker (for sure), OCD (in a good way), and you know where your happy place is and go there on purpose. You will always achieve the greatest things in life because you are have such a strong drive.
So there you go, unique and fun, I love my family.

What's for dinner?

I couldn't help myself, busy as I am I had to blog about this. This is a true story, seriously, who could make this up:
This morning Brian mentioned that he was going to be working at animal control this week. Courtney jumped on this as an opportunity to ask for the bunny she has been hoping to get for quite some time now. Brian proceeded to tell her (again, NOT kidding) that we couldn't get a bunny because if we couldn't afford to feed it, we would have to EAT it! I know times are troubled, but I'm almost sure we could afford to feed a bunny. I'm equally sure that we can afford to eat without turning to the family pets as dinner. I was laughing at him by this point, that is what you do when someone is being ridiculous. Tell her you don't want a bunny, tell her we don't have a place for a bunny, tell her I won't let her have a bunny, but don't tell her she can't have a bunny because you are going to eat it. Seriously ridiculous! I am still laughing just thinking about him having this conversation with her. He knows for a fact that I won't ever eat something that had a name. Fluffy, Fido, Bessy, I don't care, I won't eat it. Maybe you should check the bird cage and the fish tank before you eat anything Brian serves for dinner, times are tough.

Give up, it doesn't get any better

Ok, maybe that was a little bleak, but frankly, I am tired of being tired. I haven't even had time to look at anyone's blogs or blog myself in like...forever. I keep telling myself that I'm doing good and getting lots done, but there is always more to do. I canned 65 bottles of peaches, 38 bottles of chicken, 24 bottles of grape juice...It was a canning frenzy. I need to freeze some zucchini for the winter (I bottled it once, it just turns to mush). I forgot, I made salsa too. Scott asked me where I got the chickens from, because the peaches, grapes and tomatoes came from our yard. I think they came from Ryan's room, have you smelled it in there? Although from the noise and sounds coming out, the chickens could be in Scott's room.
I like my new church calling and have really enjoyed going to the different primary programs in the stake. I am so impressed by how unique each program is. I have been to 5 so far, 3 next month and 1 in November. I do miss going to our ward though, and I miss hearing Liz's lesson.
I am glad I take the time to scrapbook for a couple hours once a week, if not for that all I would do is run run run. Work, home, church, PTA, sewing, blah blah blah. I was hoping that blogging would make me feel better, but I really need to clean the house and do some sewing. This week I have scrapbook group, book group, card club, round table, community council, aargh, I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Oh, we're feeding the missionaries on Wednesday. I hope I don't forget, I'll end up feeding them ramen noodles with sliced hot dogs.
I give up.
Just kidding, no I'm not, yes I am, no I'm not, yes I am. We'll see. I had better get moving, the list only gets longer, never shorter. I can't even sit and watch my thursday line-up this week. Boo hoo. Well, that seems like a whole lot of me feeling sorry for myself. I'll live, I always do, and honestly I like being busy, just not this busy.

what happened?

So i thought i was in control of my life, had a pretty good grip on it all, i should have known better. When has that ever...ever happened? I am taking the precious few tub moments i have to blog because i won't even have time to turn on my computer for days. I love peaches so this isn't a complain't about my peaches, just their timing. I don't have time to bottle them and have all the fun peach festivities right now. Do my peaches care about my overloaded schedule? Nooooo. I had a mini meltdown yesterday and was up til one a.m. canning. I hope I can cope a bit better today. Audrey told me peaches are selling for 40 dollars a bushel...that helps me cope and appreciate my peaches a bit more. I let my sewing get away from me a tad too so that doesn't help the stress. One way or another i'll live. On the bright side, Liz, peach something for dessert tonight. Becka, more bottled peaches coming your way soon. Scott, i'll try to leave you a dessert to eat in the middle of the night. LM, you may just benefit from this craziness too (so don't take a tone with me). Off to another insane day!

Hilarious

Life is good

I used to think I could write a novel about the things that bug me, and I was probably right. I have recently decided that not all that much bugs me. Life is too hard as it is without adding a bunch of negative stuff to it. As with so many life lessons, this one was way too long in coming and of course I had to learn it the hard way. I have opinions and am occasionally known to have a bad attitude, but for the most part it is much easier to let all the crap go.
About a year ago Alex was telling me that one of her friends didn't like another one of her friends, and this girl took every opportunity to share this information with everyone. I was thinking to myself "why would she do this?" Being a thirteen year old girl is probably just about the hardest thing in the world, why make it harder. Why is your dislike of someone so important that you feel the need to share it with that person...and everyone else. Maybe lots of people don't like you, but don't share that with you.
Then as thought processes evolve, I got thinking about times in my life where I have been bugged by people, and I realized that these were the times when I was the most insecure. I spent a lot of time worrying about whether or not I bugged people. I decided to let it all go. Nice people don't have to worry about whether or not they have hurt others. Mean people generally know they are mean, and if they like themselves that way...good for them. I might still bug people but I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it.
It all goes hand in hand with the another life lesson I learned: We project our own attitudes on others. I had a boss once who lied all the time. Being a liar, she assumed everyone was lying to her. She couldn't conceive of a world where people were truthful. Honestly (hee hee) she didn't trust anyone. People who are always judging other people live in a world where they assume others are judging them. It is all just stuff that makes life harder, and seriously, isn't life hard enough?
I started slowing down and driving the speed limit about a year ago. I found that when I was speeding along I was always bugged by the slower drivers. Now as I toodle along, I am so much more relaxed. I think someone should do a scientific study of peoples heart rate and stress level when they are driving. I think as your speedometer inches over the speed limit your heart rate and stress level go right up with it.
I still get bugged by stuff because I am still human. I have narrowed the list way down though...it pretty much includes:
1. Food touching, and people who say "It's ok, it all ends up in the same place". To them I say, it all comes out the same place too...we don't eat that.
2. People who think their opinion is more important than mine. I respect everyone's right to have an opinion, and even share it, but try to respect mine too. This one comes into play a lot when it comes to politics. You may not agree with me, but that's ok, we are not all meant to agree, it makes life interesting. Remember, God loves democrats too.
3. Prefacing what you say with "don't take this the wrong way", that is a big alarm going off that says you might have to look for the right way to take it.
4. Voyeurism, I don't like to be an outside observer of peoples pain. Sometimes when I am watching the news I have to change the channel because it is so uncomfortable for me to see heartless reporters trying to capture others pain. Look for my blog on the olympics in a day or two, cameras zooming in on athletes agony..no no no.
5. Mean spirited gossip. I like a little dish now and then, but nothing mean.

My novel is just a little list now. I know there are probably a few more things that bug me, but hardly the novel I could have written before. I like it this way, life is simpler for me when I am not always bugged by one thing or another. I have a great family, great friends, and a really good life.
Feel free to share the things that make your life good, it gives me more reasons to smile and enjoy life. Go ahead and share stuff that bugs you too, maybe I'll agree and add it to my list.

Happy Birthday Scotty

20 years ago today I finished one of the longest days of my life with the birth of our first son. My labor with Scott should have been a pretty big clue to what our life is like with him. No, not extended hours of excruciating pain, just an easy going guy who will come when he feels like it. I was in the hospital for about 23 hours before he was born...but to my credit, it was a natural delivery. Apparently this is the way all great Ninjas are born. We were all so excited to welcome Scott into our family!
What do I love most about Scott? That's easy, I can see all that is good in the world through his eyes. Scott finds joy in just about anything. I find joy in Scott. I can always depend on Scott to hurl his 6 foot 4ish body across the room at me in one of his patented "ninja" attacks. While it might not seem all that joyful, the "fish flop", "python squeeze", and "flying squirrel" are magical.
He has beaned me with more flying stuff in his life than I can ever catalog. Just tonight he opened the fridge and one of my carefully stacked (booby trapped) tomatoes fell out on the floor. Did he pick it up and put it back? No, he beaned me on the cheek with it...but then he kissed it better so I laughed. He likes to throw stuff, and burn stuff. Both tendencies have caused me a little grief. I don't think strangers having rocks thrown at them find it humorous at all. Oh, and the time he almost lit our carport on fire, again, not so charming. I have never been able to stay mad at Scott. Now at 20, he hardly ever throws rocks, and has for the most part learned to contain his inner pyromaniac.
I love that anytime Scott picks up a camera, any camera, he takes a bunch of funny pictures of himself. Scott is a very talented photographer, the self-portraits aren't necessarily his best work, but they are funny. I think one of the reasons he is a good photographer is because he is able to capture his view of the world through his camera (you used to be able to say "on film" but those days are over).
So Scott, Happy Birthday, Happy every day, and thanks for sharing your ninjaness with us. Keep up the good work! Love ya, Mommy

mmmm german food

my mom used to make these yummy hooeys when she entertained. i have searched through her recipes and could never find a recipe for anything that looked or sounded like them. long story short (too late, i know) i was surfing in the tub this morning (heh heh, i made a funny) and found a recipe that looks just like them. the recipe is rouladen, she got the recipe when we were stationed in germany. i am making them for book group next wednesday and i can't wait to taste them again!!! hope i didn't spell anything wrong and sorry for the lack of caps, i'm on the ds and lazy! and no, i am not in the tub at eleven in the morning... not doing my dishes either.

Fun Pics

I can ride my bike with no handle bars

ok, I am not writing about riding a bike, but i can write my blog with no computer...no computer...
it may not seem all that exciting but i'm happy. i bought a browser program for my ds a seriously long time ago but was too techno-illiterate to use it. when i finally picked it up to try again someone (i think Brian) had put a password on it that no one could crack. After much effort on my part I reset it, and with some help from Neil, here I am!!!
It has a few limitations, but I really like it. Now I can combine two of my favorite activities...soaking in the tub and blogging. one downside is no spell check so if you don't already think I'm dumb for taking my Ds in the tub, my bad spelling should prove it!

37 obscure factoids

. Do you like blue cheese? Not all by itself, ick. But all dressed up, you bet!

2. Have you ever smoked? No. I've been on fire, but ...

3. Do you own a gun? Not personally. Brian is a big gun fan, I don't like them though. Everything else that he owns is mine too, except the guns

4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite? I know it's un-American, but I don't like kool-aid. If forced, I like lemonade or raspberry.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not really. I don't like going to the gyno, but it doesn't make me nervous.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like a tasty sausage dog.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Family man

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I don't drink in the morning, I thought that was a bad thing

9. Can you do push ups? I just tried, and yes, I can do girl push ups. Since I'm a girl, that counts.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Hmmm, I lose diamonds, so I have mixed feelings about my wedding ring. I inherited my mom's opal ring and I like that but it is too big to wear. I have a plethora of cheap bracelets that I like but they are too cheesy to be my "favorite". I would have to go with the ankle bracelet Becka brought me from Mexico, or the pretty silver hoops Liz gave me.

11. Favorite hobby? Scrapbooking.

12. Do you have ADD? Probably, I keep forgetting to pay attention. ADD or senility, take your choice

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? I used to think my bifocals were something optional I could put on to make it easier to read. They aren't optional anymore. I just plain can't see without them.

14. Middle name? No, Ann is not my middle name. I didn't know how to spell my name until I graduated from High School and they misspelled my name on my diploma. My Dad noticed it and pointed it out to me. Who knew? My name is MaryAnn, not Mary Ann

15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment. I hope my children don't have to plan my funeral any time soon (I went to a friend's funeral yesterday), I can't wait to try this new craft project I saw online today, I need to get my house clean.

16. Name three drinks you regularly drink. Diet Coke, Diet Coke, water. In that order.

17. Current worry? It's always the same, too much to do...too little time.

18. Current hate right now? I decided to change this one, because my last answer indicated that I hate people, which I don't. I hate things like trying to go to sleep at night, constantly worrying about how big my butt is getting, my newly acquired grandma tummy, forgetting to do stuff, not wanting to do the stuff I remember to do...

19. Favorite place to be? Anywhere my family is, so mostly home.

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Family and junk food. No sparkling cider out my nose, that's a good start

21. Where would you like to go? Australia. I wanted to go there ever since I saw "the thorn birds", but even more so since I read "in a sunburned country" by Bill Bryson

22. Name three people who will complete this. I hope some of my kids, it's kinda fun to read

23. Do you own slippers? at least one of 3 different sets. I don't know why I always lose 1 slipper, but I do. Since I have 2 feet, slippers are kind of useless to me.

24. What shirt are you wearing? My hot pink tunic

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Never have, I am spoiled though, I love high thread count sheets. I never should have touched any, and I wouldn't know the difference, but I do, so sheets are a serious investment for me.

26. Can you whistle? Nope, not even a little...can't snap my fingers either.

27. Favorite color? Chartreuse

28. Would you be a pirate? I think I would make a very bad pirate, I'm too spineless

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I take long soaking baths, no singing involved

30. Favorite girl’s name? Can't say, I like my daughter's names, and my granddaughter Aaliyah, I think that is very pretty

31. Favorite boy’s name? We had a really hard time choosing boy's names. Brian poo-pooed all my boy names, but again, I like what we chose for my boys.

32. What’s in your pocket right now? My Phone. My mom always had tissues in her pocket, I think that is nasty gross.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? These hilarious youtube clips of a male gymnast dressed up like a girl and doing these "spot on" girls routines.

34. What vehicle do you drive? Nice roomy family car (not), my red jetta

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I fell off the monkey bars when I was 8, broke my arm in 4 places and dislocated it in 3. It was a compound fracture so I still have the scar from the plate and 4 pins they used to put me back together.

36. Do you love where you live? Often wish I had my own bathroom, and a garage...and a family room, but we love the ward and the neighborhood, so I can live with the flaws...oh, and we can afford it, that helps.

37. How many televisions do you have in your house? More than we have kids at home (scary huh?) Living room, Kitchen, Bedroom, sewing room, scott's room, ryan's room. I am an entertainment junkie, I guess it shows.

Pass/Fail

I thought it might be a simple way to earn a few extra dollars (very few) to work concessions at the county fair. Things get a little tight when I don't get a paycheck for 3 months. I went down to Farmington to take the food handlers permit test and a drug test...guess which one I failed. Here's a clue: I am more than qualified to handle your food :)
I passed the food handlers test with ease. I can also pee on command which is more than I can say for either of my sons. I knew that the prescription pain meds I had taken for my foot surgery could be a problem, I just didn't know what a pain it would be to get it all cleared up. I had to talk to this Dr. and give him all the prescription information off of all the drugs I take, then he had to call the pharmacy and verify the information I gave him. It was such a pain, and I didn't get to start working until Thursday.
Working the fair wasn't bad though. I might still smell a little like hot dogs, you'll have to ask someone around me. I spent the 3 days I worked there at the pizza trailer. Almost everyone who came to the trailer was disappointed that all we had was pizza. We did get the vegetarian crowd because we offered cheese pizza. The scone/navajo taco trailer and the hamburger/french fry/corn dog trailer did much better than us. Then every evening I got sent down to the arena to work in what I call the "shack of disappointment". If people were disappointed at the pizza offering, you can only imagine how disappointed they were that we only offered hot dogs. You could buy bottled soda or a hot dog. No, you can't buy beer here. No, we don't have nachos. No, we don't have candy. Yes, a hot dog is considered a snack, and yes, that is all we have.
I didn't get to use any of my fantastical food handler skills jerking sodas in the trailer, or tonging hot dogs in the shack. Strike that, I did know that I needed to wash my hands twice after going to the bathroom (or smoking should I take that up), and that hand sanitizer and gloves cannot replace a hand washing. You should all feel that the world is a safer place now that I can properly handle food. And to those of you who had to eat food I prepared before I got my permit, just think of all the fun names food poisoning has: Campylobacter, Salmonella, Shigella, E. coli O157:H7, Listeria, and botulism. Whee

26 years-the Spandex anniversary

Yesterday Brian and I celebrated our 26th anniversary! Wild huh?!? Last year was our silver anniversary, 24 more years will be our gold. I googled it, to see what 26 is. Anniversaries from paper, cotton and leather, to Bismuth, china and furniture, but the list goes from yearly to every 5 years once you hit 25. I am left kicking myself that I got no furniture for our 24th anniversary--how did I manage to miss that one. And Bismuth! I own no Bismuth (at least I think I don't, since I don't exactly know what Bismuth is, I can't say for sure). I bought a new swimsuit while we were shopping yesterday, so perhaps 26th is swimwear. Better yet Spandex! 26 is Spandex--genius. After 26 years, it would take a mega amount of spandex to fit me into the itty bitty size 0 I used to be, so there you go, the Spandex anniversary.
We tend to do dinner and a movie to celebrate and this year wasn't much different. We did spend the afternoon together, first a movie then some shopping, then dinner. I didn't want to see a kid's movie for a multitude of reasons, guilt being one. I always feel guilty watching a movie the kids would enjoy without them, a few years ago we saw "Sky High" for our anniversary, and it was odd to be there without kiddies. Another reason is that I really don't like anything animated (including said kiddies on a sugar high). We finally settled on the new X files movie. It was odd but good. Dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant, Imperial Dragon, yum.
Reflections on the past 26 years:
1. I can't believe we have been married that long, according to my calculations I was only 4 when I got married!
2. Brian looks the same (fantastic), and if possible has the same amount of energy he had 26 years ago...maybe more.
3. Definitely worth any amount of struggle and work we have put into our relationship.
4. I wouldn't change a thing. The road hasn't always been smooth and I'm sure there are bumps to come, but the journey has been a great learning and growing experience. The longer we travel together, the easier it is for me to see the destination.
5. I have a fantastic husband and great children and grandchildren. Life is good.
6. As soon as I find out what Bismuth is, I am getting me some.

Lightening in Felicity

I need to take a moment to eulogize Lightening. I had to take our family dog in and put to sleep (a euphemism we only find appropriate to use on animals) a couple of weeks ago. I had vowed many years ago after I sent Riker off to live on a puppy farm (another euphemism) that I didn't ever need another dog. Joslyn called me not too long after that to ask me if I was interested in taking in a dog. She described lightening, assured me that his worst habit was eating tissues out of the garbage can, and told me he was a very good dog. I decided to surprise the family by giving them a dog for Christmas, that was in 2000.
To Joslyn's credit, Lightening was a very good dog, he never used our house as his own personal toilet, never barked in the house, and was very...very good with children. He never could pass up a tasty morsel from the garbage can though, and I often caught him with his nose deep in the trash. He did have a nasty habit of barking at the fence, but anyone who actually knew lightening, knew he was quite literally all bark and no bite. If a potential burglar tried riding up to our house on a skateboard or bike, he might be in trouble...no not really, because as soon as they entered the gate he would lay on his stomach and wait for a belly scratch.
Lightening couldn't quite live up to his name, if I had named him I would have gone with lump, or wimp, maybe kleenex. He was meek always. He was also a lump, 50 lbs of lap dog. He loved a good spot in the sun.
A couple years ago lightening got a large rubbery feeling tumor on his face. We had that removed and were told it was just a fat tumor. A little after that he got a pretty big tumor on his hip, and from our previous experience I wasn't so worried about it. When we had that tumor removed, it was cancerous. It seemed pretty encapsulated so I again wasn't so worried. Then in the spring of this year, the tumor came back with a vengence. It was HUGE. It grew very fast, so when I took him in to the vet it was already the size of a large orange. The Vet told us it was too big to remove and that we should just take him home and enjoy what time he had left and bring him back when he got sick.
Because I am dead inside, I have used the threat "be good or I'll kill your dog", to keep the family in line for the last few months. I'll have to find something new though. I honestly didn't want to wait for lightening to get seriously ill, what would be the point. I waited until the tumor was about the size of a cantaloupe and decided he had lugged that thing around enough. We had contemplated his death for a long time, so although we missed him, I think everyone was ready for it when I took him in.
LM sent me some scripture and gospel literature texts to let me know where lightening has gone. So now we all know, Lightening and all the other "beasts" get to go live in Felicity. My only worry now is that I might have to spend eternity with ALL the pets I have sent into the afterlife. I'd rather go to hell than spend eternity with Yoda, Sniffles (and all her kittens), I don't even know how many birds (and I don't like birds), 20-30 gerbils, Roxy, and Riker. Lets hope Felicity is like a big heavenly pet store and you can go in and pick the pets you want and leave the rest for a soul more compassionate than me.
So there is Lightening's eulogy, to put it in a nutshell, he was a wonder among dogs, a dog whose good habits outweighed his bad. I do miss him, he was probably the only being in our house who understood my true invertibrate nature. I didn't even have the heart to push him off the bed when I would wake up in the night and find that he had taken my half of the bed for himself. He was spineless like me and we understood each other. Although I couldn't bring myself to enjoy a good trash can snack with him, I know he would have sat and enjoyed a steak dinner with me. If you find me out barking at the fence, It's just cause I miss him, and I would be quicker to do that than have a toilet big gulp.
Enjoy felicity lightening, you deserve it.

whee

Last month went by so fast, I kept wanting to blog but couldn't find the time. Then I had foot surgery or brain surgery...hard to tell. I thought I would blog a bit while I was laid up, but it's a little hard to blog if you forgot all your account settings. LM tried her very hardest to keep my organized when she set this up, she provided me with a small book to keep track of my sign-in information. Because I am hardcore unorganized, I managed to lose the book. I am an identity thief's dream, I know I can't remember stuff, so I always use the same basic login info. I may vary a little, but I can usually figure it out, but not this time. But Whee, I'm back! Google accepts that there are plenty of people like me around and makes it pretty easy to rediscover your identity.
We went on vacation last month and it was tons of fun! All of us went to Bear lake, and although it took a convoy of 4 vehicles to get us all there, it was great. We ate good, and I (thanks to my good friend Ambien) slept well. I think most of my kids still have a vivid memory of our 5 day trip to Yellowstone. I didn't sleep a wink all 4 nights we were there, so on day 5 when we were on our way home, needless to say I was a little scary. I remember Brian telling the kids to be quiet and not talk to me at all, I was pretty beastly. No repeats here though, I slept great.
I think it will be years, or perhaps eternity before I quit teasing Scott about his ability to "tan". Maybe I will about the time I quit teasing him about popping "corn" (I'll save that for another blog). We were all slathering ourselves in sunbloc as Scott and his pasty white skin headed for the beach. I called out that he needed to put sunbloc on, but he just looked back and told me he didn't need it because his skin would tan..heh heh. First time out he fried himself good. Burgundy isn't quite the color he turned, but it's close. He later blistered and peeled, not usually seen in people who tan, but I could be wrong. Because he was sitting in a kayak at the time, his legs had fantastic shades of white meat and dark meat. A cannibal's delight.
What I love about my family is that it doesn't really matter where we go, it only matters that we go together. We can have fun anywhere. Because of gas prices we chose to stay a little closer to home, but it doesn't feel like we settled for anything less than the perfect place. Because Lizzy is an organizing genius I don't think we forgot anything. We had a lovely set up, and probably because she is charming, we didn't have to move our tents off the beach we set them up on.
There is so much more stuff I should write about, but I'll stop for now because I am reasonably sure I can login again and blog another time...and just because I am a slacker, no LM, I didn't write down my new login information...remember, I lost the cute little book to write it in.

Check out my Slide Show!

Silly Ryan/Silly Mommy

I'm a worry wort, a genetic trait I can't seem to get away from. I was beat last night when I dropped into bed at 12:30. Exhaustion not withstanding, I woke up at 2:30 just worried about Ryan. He had a very non-risky surgery coming up the next morning (today) and I just couldn't get it out of my head that something would go wrong with the anesthesia. The crappy deal about being worried in the middle of the night is that I am so exhausted that everything seems so much worse. I kept going over all these horrible scenarios in my mind, truly silly stuff. I finally got a little sleep around 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. not really enough to help. Ryan wasn't concerned at all, he has had the same surgery (myringotomy-tubes in his ears) at least 3 other times, I've lost track. Anyhoo, he actually likes the feeling of coming out of general anesthesia.
I am happy to report that all went very well. Ryan was silly the whole way through. They had him put a hair net thingy over his fantastic fauxhawk and he thought this was a wonderful look. He kept pulling the hair cover up into a poofy hairdo. He was fantastically brave as they put the IV in, something that had been done after he was asleep in the past. I think I was feeling more pain watching him. The nurse that came out to get me after the surgery was just laughing at sleepy boy Ryan. He kept saying silly things and having them move his legs around.
I helped him sit up, moved his legs around (because he said he couldn't move them), talked to him, and he remembers none of it. He kept asking me to whisper so he could see if the surgery worked, but he had cotton balls in his ears and didn't know it. He said everything sounded muffled--ya think! The thing I like about this surgery is that it is immediately effective. As we were driving home someone honked their horn near us (not at us) and I thought he was going to shoot through the sunroof.
He has been a little loopy-a trait I enjoy in him. He was using everything from kayak oars to a vacuum, to help him stand up--truly silly.
I know when I am awake worrying in the middle of the night that I am being irrational, I just can't seem to stop myself. I am tempted to take an ambien tonight, but dunno, I guess loopy doesn't quite cover how I am after taking one. I wouldn't know because they give me fantastical amnesia, niiiice.

whew!

I am such a silly thing, I keep thinking things will slow down despite the fact that they NEVER do. I did have a really fun day yesterday even though I was busy. Started with the usual walk/trip to the gym with Audrey. I went for my torture session with the physical therapist, as he is cramming his thumb into my ankle I flinch and he asks "oh, does that hurt?" um...ya, he deduced that I have tendonitis, I am pretty sure I have yourthumbinmyankleitis. So that was clearly not the highlight of my day. It did get better though, LM and I had decided if it wasn't raining we would go pick asparagus after my PT appointment. We met up and headed for the farm, it was soooo much fun-other than the fact that I am so clumsy I cut my finger just reaching for the first asparagus I was going to cut. We are going to go out next week and pick strawberries. We always have so much to talk about, which again surprises me since we talk several times a week and scrapbook together every Tuesday. After our farm adventure we went back to her house and had some of her super yummy tortilla soup...aaahhh. After an early lunch with her, I went to a late lunch with Audey, we had free salad coupons. Lizzy came over for a while and we had just a few quick minutes to visit. Last night we combined with the 8th ward for a musical presentation of the parable of the 10 virgins. It was wonderful, I am glad I am in the presidency because I might have decided I was too tired/busy/lazy, and stayed home. I really would have missed a wonderful evening. I bought a few pieces of coordinating fabric to make me a new purse, that is my task du jour.

Taking Control

Ok, I'm taking control of this blog...clearly LM got a little carried away with "helping" me get set up. I have yet to get anything done today, so I might as well waste a little more time blogging. Today is supposed to be my first real day of summer vacation. I finished work May 15th, but have had so many things to do since then, this is really the first day that hasn't been filled with appointments. It is probably better for me to keep busy, since I have pretty much wasted my day. I walked with Audrey, went to the gym (with Audrey), and paid a physical therapist to torture me. No joke, Astym just hurts, and when he finished with that I thought he was going to give me a foot rub...hah! He just squeezed and pushed on my foot right where it hurts. I will go back on Wednesday and if I can't tell a difference, I am done. Surgery probably feels better than this. Ick. Becka is down for a visit and we are having a bar-b-que tonight, so it will be a fantastic if slightly less than productive day. I'm going to try to add a few pictures to the blog and call it good for today.

Look at my cute son!

mom doesn't really like me best

Mom does not really like me best, she likes MY SISTER LM best!